After all the Good News... what comes next?

THE CELEBRATIONS OF COURSE!!!

#CancerFreeBy23


 
Easter in Alhambra

Birthday Wine Tasting

Tutu Shenanigans!

Sunday Family Brunch

 

Before and After PET Scan Result of Cancer

#REMISSION
Cancer Free
Pet Scan

 The other dark spots in my body is the Dextrose being attracted to by kidneys and bladder


PMBCL
Primary Mediastinal B Cell

Courtesy of
Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital

Round 5: Who's ready for GOOD NEWS!?

I'm sure everyone will be quite delighted with today's post :)

So this weeks events played out as follows. 
On Monday there was a mix up with the hospital, so they were not able to admit me until Tuesday. I Started Chemo that day and I was scheduled for A PET Scan the following morning on Wednesday. This PET Scan was the  tell-tale-all. We would find out if there is anymore cancer left in my chest.

IF there was a presence then we would continue unto 8 cycles of chemotherapy.
FORTUNATELY we're still according to plan and we're only doing SIX!
Meaning.... IM CANCER FREE!!
WOOOOOOOOOOO

yes, yes, yes. Its all very exciting there is no more cancer but i still have to finish the current cycle of chemotherapy I'm on ( I'm here until Sunday, VISIT ME!) then two weeks of recovery at home then my final cycle, Round 6 April 28- May 4.

Chemo is still kicking my booty though!

Though this chapter in my life is fairly  short, it is one of the toughest. Still learning a lot about my strengths, attitudes, and ability to overcome adversities. It tested my relationship and my friendships. Kind of like who really is there for you in your most troubling times? Despite the sadness or anger or joy that this whole Cancer brought I'm immensely grateful for those who Stood up to the plate and did the best that they could in supporting me but most importantly letting me know they love me . 

Love is what got me through, LOVE IS WHAT GETS ME THROUGH, EVERYDAY. The Love of my Family, the Love of my friends, the Love of my Wonderful nurses, The Love my Family and Friends received from those in their lives! i guess I'll write a thank you schpeal when this is all done with.

Yesterday the Lord brought good news and today I share it with you, once again!

               I'M CANCER FREE BY 23

 

My Instgram picture 

I can see the end!

10:56pm

But the heartache still lingers. I hate that going into the hospital seems like such a dreadful activity, when truly I'm so thankful for everything the hospital and its staff has done for me. 
I don't want to goo back though. I don't want to spend yet another week of my life, in one room- on one floor, receiving medicine that gets me sick in order to make me well again.
I don't want to leave my family. Can I stay home with Olive? Can i stay home across the street from where my mom works? 

Can I be better yet?

Ive spent a lot of time in hospitals, in doctor's office this year. I've spent so much time alone.
 I miss school. I miss having a job. i miss the robot script of someone i've never met before asking about my day. I miss the gym. I miss most of all being Allowed to do anything. 
i cant brush my teeth, i cant eat shellfish, i cant put mascara on my eyelashes (because i dont have any eyelashes at the moment) i cant have my heart rate  be more then 70% of my max, i cant drive at night, i cant blahblahblah.... 

Apparently its April? This year has yet to start for me; I've been on Cancer hold. 

Tomorrow, maybe Tuesday, we find out if I'm CancerFree. What's that word they use again? Oh, Remission.
Tomorrow can't come soon enough, but at the same time i don't want tomorrow to come at all.

Please excuse my dramatic inflection, writing is one of the only alternative stress relievers that is not forbidden .

I can't stop crying tonight.
Goodnight all.